For much of my life I have more or less believed in The Scheme of Things. Having been indoctrinated into Catholicism, the scheme was God and also The Mystery of God. Over time, especially as I "sat zazen" for many, many years, the scheme became Greater Context. The word "scheme" implies something planned, something intended, rather than simply just what happens. So the word itself has implications of which I am quite unsure and which I find myself questioning. I have a thought: The road we make is the road we take. The Scheme of Things implies that it is all God's Scheme of Things, which does not resonate with me at all. For all I know it could be true, but even if it is, it is far, far too simplistic and rather too stupid. I do believe in Fate but also in myself as integral to my own fate. Krishnamurti said that we make our own path with each step we take. But then, with all due respect Mr. K, we also greatly tend to follow the path of least resistance, which is to say, of least thought. We tend to be herd animals with herd instinct and we head to the great sociocultural barn. If we are sheep, we are shorn, castrated and eventually eaten. If we are cows, our horns may be capped as well. Now for an aside: I recently went to the meat counter at the Piggly Market and was waited upon by a butcher who had just been cutting meat off a carcass. She, the butcher, had a big tattoo on her forearm of a diagram of a cow with all of its particular "cuts" lined out in the picture. I told her, pointing to the tattoo, "That's perfect." She said, "Yes, and I use it too." I knew this blog had a direction.
So I do still tend to believe in a Greater Context, though no longer The Greater Context. I question just about everything I think too frequently, including my thinking it and my questioning. It's as though I see right through my whole rational for thinking it before I think it. I see right through myself and the rationale for my own being. Yet I am right here in this body on this planet in this solar system typing away as if I had something to say that should be said. The only real solace is that I am writing this to a "world out there" that is not really there at all, even though we all believe it is there because we can see it, hear it, touch it, smell it, and so on. As I observe myself in this world in this moment of history, I shake my head in judgment of the absurdity which appears to prevail, wondering why, at the same time, why it is that I seem to focus on the insanity rather than the sanity, which also prevails in its own underlying way. I also largely wonder about my own impending death which follows like clockwork my own strange but true, fascinating, ridiculous but true, life.
I used to believe very much that it's obvious that we are born again into new bodies with new lives. We are big walking, talking worms, or radishes. I find it strange but true that I have to eat food and eliminate it daily every day of my life. That I find this so odd seems to imply that I remember NOT being in a flesh-form, as it were. In fact I do and I also specifically remember many previous lives but not when I actually "got on the wheel," as they say. Living in this world is most interesting and not so hard if you know what the state of things is, but knowing the state of reality is the life-long challenge. Not only knowing but accepting, which is actually even more essential than knowing.
But I don't like the notion of "the scheme of things," since I don't believe that such a thing is conscious or known by any "entity" whatsoever. But I suppose I'll keep it as title to the blog even though it is very misleading. A very few people actually DO read this blog; I believe in quality, not quantity. If something I say resonates and helps someone to feel a momentary sanity or even just an associated disassociation, that's a good thing. It seems that we are driven to find at least a thread to lead us out of the labyrinth. Speaking of that, I published a few books from my own Ariadne Press, though I am most certainly no writer. This blog just kind of seeps out, but I do trust the spring from which it flows. I must. I thank you for reading this, my friend.
So I do still tend to believe in a Greater Context, though no longer The Greater Context. I question just about everything I think too frequently, including my thinking it and my questioning. It's as though I see right through my whole rational for thinking it before I think it. I see right through myself and the rationale for my own being. Yet I am right here in this body on this planet in this solar system typing away as if I had something to say that should be said. The only real solace is that I am writing this to a "world out there" that is not really there at all, even though we all believe it is there because we can see it, hear it, touch it, smell it, and so on. As I observe myself in this world in this moment of history, I shake my head in judgment of the absurdity which appears to prevail, wondering why, at the same time, why it is that I seem to focus on the insanity rather than the sanity, which also prevails in its own underlying way. I also largely wonder about my own impending death which follows like clockwork my own strange but true, fascinating, ridiculous but true, life.
I used to believe very much that it's obvious that we are born again into new bodies with new lives. We are big walking, talking worms, or radishes. I find it strange but true that I have to eat food and eliminate it daily every day of my life. That I find this so odd seems to imply that I remember NOT being in a flesh-form, as it were. In fact I do and I also specifically remember many previous lives but not when I actually "got on the wheel," as they say. Living in this world is most interesting and not so hard if you know what the state of things is, but knowing the state of reality is the life-long challenge. Not only knowing but accepting, which is actually even more essential than knowing.
But I don't like the notion of "the scheme of things," since I don't believe that such a thing is conscious or known by any "entity" whatsoever. But I suppose I'll keep it as title to the blog even though it is very misleading. A very few people actually DO read this blog; I believe in quality, not quantity. If something I say resonates and helps someone to feel a momentary sanity or even just an associated disassociation, that's a good thing. It seems that we are driven to find at least a thread to lead us out of the labyrinth. Speaking of that, I published a few books from my own Ariadne Press, though I am most certainly no writer. This blog just kind of seeps out, but I do trust the spring from which it flows. I must. I thank you for reading this, my friend.
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