DO WE CONSUME OUR LIVES OR DO THEY CONSUME US?

How do we spend our lives? Do we consume our life or does it consume us? Is there even that kind of dichotomy at all? Some of us live quite "purposeful" lives; there is a purpose and direction and reason for us to live, and we do what we can to fulfil that. Or so we tell ourselves and/or are told by the society and culture in which we live -- and have been accordingly brain-washed or made to believe wholeheartedly and without question. This is akin to believing in heaven or believing in God, which, in a greater context, may be human inventions to ward off not only our fear of death, but also of purposeless and meaninglessness. Such is the existential dilemma.

We are possessed within our DNA itself of a reason and purpose to live, and that is: to live in and of itself. We are survival machines, as are all animate forms. But the human dilemma is that somewhere within ourselves we know that this is simply not enough. On one hand, we claim, "I'd rather die than live like or be treated like an animal," while, on the other, we can be quite satisfied living like animals as long as we are the dominant animal. We believe we have scruples, or morals, and right behavior, but in reality we are often quite abominable as a species.

But perhaps I can be more merciful, and forgiving of the human race, which also includes myself. This "paradox of being human," which is obvious to some, is forever not obvious to the oblivious, who are the great majority. Jesus spoke of the need to "turn the other cheek," which is a most pragmatic notion. My own own version of that is, "Go with the flow and roll with the punches." We cannot fight the river's current, but must find ways to use it as best we can to cause as little harm as possible. I suppose I'm saying that our intentions must be good, but I also believe the adage that, "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions." We must also show some intelligence, some ability to make decisions that are in accord with Reality rather than simply what we believe, or society or culture believes to be real. Unlike the intelligent practicality present within animals, we humans think that we can see things the way we want to see them rather than the way they are. We are willing to die for this, which sets us apart from nature. Is this "divine," as some might claim, or is it absurd. Or, is it absurd that we actually create situations in which such seeming choices must seemingly be made? Is our existence of value at all? Or is it mere ephemeral shadow play?

And the problems in this is that there is always a greater reality, a greater context, whether we are unaware of it by ignorance or by choice. An academic friend of mine, in researching the ancient language of Genesis, found that it actually says something to the effect that, "In the beginning, He created God and then God created ...". So humans claimed this or that "God" as their own cultural property, but what about this greater context. And what about our refusal and/or inability to even be willing to go there?

ON SEEING THINGS AS THEY ARE

The paradox of existence is always present to me, and always (or almost always) of profound amazement to me. That things could happen as they do, both in my own life and in the world, is often utterly strange to me. Of course I can make everything "make sense" in some absurd and/or logical way, but it's far more interesting, and perhaps far more accurate, if I simply take things as they are, that is, as they become apparent. Of course I have acknowledge that the way I see them is also how I view them, or, in other words, the context of belief in and through which I "hold" them. Does that make sense? We think we see things "as they are," but, in truth, we see them as we already believe they are to be seen. I find this truth to be so comical, now that I see that I am not seeing anything as it is. Of course, if you realize that your certainty about how things are is, in truth, more your interpretation than anything else, you are more able to actually catch something as it is, even if for a brief moment. Arthur Schopenhauer, if I understand him correctly, referred to this when he spoke of "the will as representation." But I don't particularly want to get involved in that discussion/direction right now.

Speaking of misperceptions, the idea that our essence, or spirit, or true nature transcends the world of perception, of the body, and/or of nature itself, is absurd. As if we can separate ourselves from our inclusion in the world of nature! We can deceive ourselves in this, and many of us have and do. The Judeo-Christian tradition is based in this kind of unreal, false duality, though there are some groups within even this tradition that are able to embody spirit. Now, I hate to use words that are indefinable, such as "spirit," but I'm not going to define it here or now, and whatever you may think about spirit we'll accept as valid. As I said, some groups are able to embody spirit, such as black churches where the gospel music is sung more from the heart and the guts than the logical mind. This is embodied spirit, just as the dance and chant of the Native American or the Native African is also embodied spirit. There is also the visceral experience of Nature, in its power and its peace-giving elements, within cultures such as the earth-based, often goddess-based Celtic peoples. I'm just touching on this to make the point. Of course there are so many other people and cultures that embody spirit.

As I read the first paragraph again, I believe that the ability to "take things as they are" without having to logically understand them in order to accept them is, in fact, an expression of embodied spirit, a deeply phenomenological experience; a right brain activity, not of the logic and intellect of the left, but of singing, dancing, feeling, and being alive.

DEMANDS OF LIFE AND CHOICES WE MAKE

Life is all about "getting caught up in it." We lose sight of what brings us to any kind of "essence of self" and find ourselves continually distracted. Usually such distraction is both welcomed and sought by us; at least most of us. Most of us never even notice that we have climbed into the great slowly simmering pot along with just about everyone else. This is for the great majority who must look around themselves at what is going on to see if they are having fun yet.

Others find themselves in this same pot, but, rather than having climbed in willingly, backed in unwillingly. This is often due to the belief that they have to join the club and enter into the cultural norm of "having an income" in a conventional way so that they can support themselves and their families as "responsible citizens." In truth, doing it like this is much easier than going against the flow or the grain of the culture itself. Sometimes my motto is, "Go with the flow ... and roll with the punches." Of course there are different "flows." There is the cultural flow which becomes that of the lowest common denominator. Witness the majority of what appears on TV, for instance. And there is the flow associated with what is happening on a deeper,  underlying level of existence or reality. I refer to this as at least the truer reality. And the test is consequently to relate that deeper flow with the living of our lives. Given our current cultural backdrop, the contrast is more and more noticeable. As people become less and less human and less and less sane, it is in fact noticeable to some of us.

Once I firmly believed in such notions as the New Age, and rejected that of the Kali Yuga. Now I see the reality of the latter here and now, and the possibility of the former only after the latter has fully manifested. It appears that much of the false must be lost or destroyed before that which is real or essential can be even noticed, much less appreciated and expressed. As I said, we must ultimately be able to "go with the flow and roll with the punches." This is no silly mantra, but what is necessary. It's akin to "turning the other cheek," a good Christian notion. If we only had more good Christians and fewer good Christian notions.

I have become far more sensitized to the energies around me: the noise, the speed, the anger, the intolerance, the distrust. I don't think it is related to me, for I am probably more pleasant and tolerant than I ever have been. I am more tuned in to how people feel and to what they are probably thinking as well. Perhaps I'm just reading body language better, or body language is more obvious than ever. Perhaps it's because I'm older now. I'll be 64 years old tomorrow. But whatever it is, I find that life -- that being in the world -- is more and more assaultive of me. I feel absolutely accosted by noise, speed, anger, fear, etc. I can barely protect myself anymore and seek to get back home as quickly as possible. And the irony of this is that I genuinely enjoy people and connect with them. I am open to them -- which is probably why I have this problem. And I would rather be open and honest than closed. I would rather be available as a human being to other human beings than not. To close myself up would be to lock myself inside myself and withhold myself from others.

However, to be open invites the possibility of confrontation with those who are invasive and assaultive. This is problematic. And this problem leads to another "discussion" of it at some other time.

TITLES AND OTHER SUCH THINGS

OK, so the title is a bit obscure and too long. The blog address is unruly and hard to remember. So be it.

There will always be a better way to do it, to say it, even not to do it, not to say it. So I'll say it as I will, and without even making it particularly proof-ready. This is not a production; rather, it's simply a conversation. Probably with myself more than anyone else, however, anyone may eavesdrop if they so choose. They may even participate in some way. If they exhibit some kind of interesting perspective, I will show appreciation or, better yet, disdain. We will all agree to keep a good grain of salt handy, since "the other" always seems to be only too present. I would like to be able to tolerate and even merge to Become One, however, these things, given the scheme of things, are unlikely, no matter how actually true they may be.

For it is true that, unsentimentally, we are so interconnected and even interchangeable, that we are, on that particular level, quite one. However, we choose to be far more unaware of this than aware. To be aware of it is to perpetually shake one's head in disbelief that one could be interconnected with such a group of self-destructive crazies who are the most stupid things imaginable and worse than that. And this is me being very positive. "Show me your happy face. This IS my happy face."

OLD BEGINNINGS AND NEW CONTINUINGS

A new beginning with a new title. The previous title and blog, Depression's Seven Steps to Self-Understanding, simply or not so simply, vanished from the blogsphere. I take it as a sign. When things happen that alter the order of one's existence in large or small ways, one can inquire as to how and why, and perhaps affect a reversal to the previous existing order, however, this is generally the exception to the rule of life.

So, given changes, large or small, which can be sometimes quite upsetting and even devastating, one still needs to BREATHE. For this, it may be helpful to have a PLACE to breathe. In addition, whatever is taking happening is doing so within the Greater Context, sometimes referred to as THE SCHEME OF THINGS. Thus, the title to this new blog, A PLACE TO BREATHE WITHIN THE SCHEME OF THINGS. Sometimes the scheme of things seems so personal and so utterly crushing; we can hardly breathe.

The purpose of this blog is to provide breathing space within our lives, but I want more than breathing SPACE; I want a PLACE specifically available in which to BREATHE, and to breathe freely. A place in which what needs to be released or freed or allowed to exist is given this right. Yet, not a place of bitching and complaining stupidly; rather, a place of recognizing and telling the truth about oneself and one's place in the scheme of things, the greater context of all of it. That's where I intend to go. That's where I invite you to go as well.

Our particular directions are not up for discussion; there is no right or wrong direction, personally-speaking. However, there is that which "makes sense". I prefer a discussion in which we seek to comprehend and apprehend that which we share in some way. Our responsibility is to be as honest as we can be, while also being able to hear the other, who may see things quite differently. I do not pretend to be consistent or right or dogmatic or wise or truthful. Thus, the place to breathe. We all listen to each other. We share the same life in some respects, though we are not so much the same in my estimation. We project everything upon others; our lives are such projections. We aren't even ourselves; perhaps there is no such thing as one's self.

My committment is to do my utmost to enter something here on a daily basis, though I don't want it to be mere drivel. Our culture thrives on that but I don't. I am drawn to the unknown, to the darkness. Perhaps the light reveals too much that is simply not very interesting or worthy or beautiful. But nor am I a solemn, suffering romantic or a sentimentalist seeking pain. Life is silly enough. And life is not all it's cracked up to be.

So enjoy...